Turning Down the Volume. Part 2: Practical Steps to Quiet Your Inner Critic

The internal critic is a conscious inner voice that evaluates and negatively comments on actions, feelings, thoughts and sensations. Typically, the internal critic expresses condemnation, disappointment and disapproval (“wrong”, “inadequate”, “worthless”, “deserving punishment and rejection”, etc.). Many girls and boys suffering from eating disorders (e.g. anorexia) “hear” a critical inner voice that tells them they are “fat”  and “ugly”.

Inner voice of those who are suffering from body image disorder (dysmorphic disorder) are fixated on perceived bodily imperfection, exaggerating its role and significance. When looking in the mirror, they “hear” hostile, prejudiced and even hateful inner voice.

Depression also manifests in hostile inner voices (e.g., “you are bad,” “you are guilty”), self-deprecating thoughts (e.g., “you are loser") full of pessimism and hopelessness ("this will never end", "youll never be happy”). Excessive internal criticism creates a feeling of failure, emotional pain, shame, anxiety for the future, low self-esteem, lack of self-respect and a reduced motivation to socialize with other people (Blackwell, 2023).

This way, the inner critic does not help the person — being the enemy of change, it provokes suicidal thoughts and encourages to use alcohol or drugs to “turn off” this negative voice.

The disruptive work of the internal critic include:

denial of positive qualities, virtues and skills (“You can’t do anything and don’t know anything,” “Impostor”)

comparing oneself with others and believing in not fitting into social standards (beauty,

attractiveness, weight)

attribution of certain generalized, shameful and/or negative aspects and qualities (“Lazy”, “Untalented”)

insults and negative labels (“Idiot!”, “Stupid!” “Stupid!”, "Jonah!")

a negative outlook for the future associated with lack of opportunity for change or achieving the goal (“You wont succeed”, “You don’t deserve happiness”)

What are the possibilities for psychological work with the inner critic?

1. Imagine that you are an investigator and you need to find out who this voice belongs to. Try to remember where, when and who was talking like this before.
2. Identify and make the list of triggers that activate your critic.
3. Look for evidence to confirm or refute the words of your inner critic. When it generalizes something like “You can’t do anything and don’t know anything”, look for counterarguments.
4. Learn to apologize to yourself. If your inner critic insults you (“Idiot!”, "Stupid!" "Jerk!" etc.), stop it and ask yourself for forgiveness.
5. Learn to detach. Given that the internal dispute only strengthens your inner critic, it’s much better not to take the critics words for granted.
6. Practice externalization, which means imagining your inner critic as something external, not identical to your personality and even more — as something opposing.
7. The inner critic is too serious. Once it attacks you, use irony and humor and say “Thank you my dear Inner Critic that you make sure that I am perfect! Without you I would have fallen long ago to the very social bottom! All my successes and achievements are exclusively your merit!”

I wish you success in working with your inner critic! If you’d like to work with a professional on your inner thoughts, reach out to us to talk to a psychologist online and book a free consultation to determine the best online therapy service that will suit you at E Clinic.

D.Avtonomov©